When Marriage Isn’t A Fun Adventure
People love to romanticize marriage as a never-ending adventure — full of laughter, road trips, and sunsets that somehow always seem to align just right. And while Randy and I have had our share of adventures — from NASCAR races and new neighborhoods to Bibles, barndos, and everything in between — I’ve learned that marriage isn’t always the “fun” kind of adventure.
Sometimes, it’s the grit kind.
The Real Ride
We’ve been on racetracks and winding country roads — but some of the hardest laps weren’t behind a steering wheel. They were the laps around the same argument, the ones where neither of us wanted to yield. We’ve built homes and dreams, only to realize that love isn’t found in the drywall or the décor — it’s found in the way we keep showing up for each other when the paint starts to chip.
Marriage has its NASCAR moments — fast, loud, thrilling — and its neighborhood ones — quiet, routine, sometimes too predictable. It’s easy to love someone when you’re cheering side by side in the stands or strolling hand in hand through a new season. It’s harder when the noise dies down and all that’s left is the daily grind — the bills, the fatigue, the thousand small choices that make up a life together.
The “Without All the Things” Part
Here’s what I’ve learned: the adventure isn’t in what we do, but who we choose.
If all of the things were stripped away — no race days, no getaways, no shared projects or plans — we’d still have each other. And that’s not a sentimental line; it’s a decision we keep making.
Because marriage isn’t built on shared hobbies or even shared dreams — it’s built on shared commitment. The choice to stay. To forgive. To keep showing up even when the road feels long and the fun has flat-lined.
Still Choosing Us
When I look at Randy, I see every version of us — the thrill-seekers, the dreamers, the tired parents, the work-in-progress humans. And through every season, we’ve chosen each other again and again.
Not because it’s always fun.
Not because it’s always easy.
But because it’s us.
And honestly, that’s the greatest adventure of all.
