The Courage to Confront

Many people will talk about you or around you, but fewer people will have the courage to talk to you. Are you one of the brave folks who has the courage to confront?

The word “confront” has many definitions, according to Dictionary.com. The one I am referencing today is “to present for acknowledgment, contradiction, etc.” Confrontation is neutral; it’s simply a way to bring things to light. Yet, many of us fear it and place a negative connotation around it.

For example, I had a colleague whose performance had slipped. Other people around me noticed the slippage and brought it to my attention. I asked, “Have you talked to this person about the issue?” The response was appalling, “Oh no! I was simply “letting you know.” If it’s important enough to let me know, don’t you think it’s important enough to inform the responsible party?

A similar situation happens in Christian circles, but it’s dressed up very nicely as “prayer requests.” For instance, “Pray for Sally because she is making some really poor choices.” Before we pray for Sally, we might want to talk to Sally.

I witness parents avoid situations all of the time. Their child may have a weight issue, and they’re afraid to address it because they don’t want to hurt feelings. Parents, if we don’t get a handle on it now, how do we expect our children to handle it later?

For me, it’s easier to have the courage to confront situations when I have the proper tools. Below is an acronym I learned years ago that will, hopefully, help you handle tough situations and assist people in being their B.E.S.T.

Behavior (what is the specific behavior that needs to be addressed?)

Express the impact (when this person does the specific behavior, how does it impact you, their performance, or the people around them?)

Solicit input (this is when you ask questions to gain understanding of their perspective)

Talk next steps (be specific about how things need to change and what you are willing to do to help)

85% of poor performance comes from lack of, or ineffective, feedback. Will you have the courage to step up and help people be their best by addressing tough situations?